Remember that girl or guy in high school that it just didn’t work out with and the days you spent miserable wondering how it all went wrong?
Buying a house is no different and you might find yourself in a situation where you think about ‘the one that got away’.
You might have missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime because someone else made a better offer or you thought you might find something better along the line.
Whatever the case may be, here are a few pointers to help you get over the loss of your ‘dream home’:
#1 – There is no shame in losing the game
You might flip through the stages of loss, guilt, anxiety and anger. Perhaps some people might see you as a failure and you might see yourself as a failure.
There’s nothing wrong going through those emotions, as long as you don’t let them consume you.
Get back in the saddle and start (your home search) again!
#2 – Cry your heart out
The worst thing you can do is say that it’s no big deal!
It actually is.
Freud said it best when he interpreted the image of a house in dreams: it is the representation of the human person as a whole!
Buying a home is a rite of passage and you’ve missed out on it, so let the tears flow.
It’s perfectly okay!
#3 – Heal through productive regret
Yes, productive regret exists and not all regret is unhealthy. It only becomes negative when it leads to unhappiness and feeling dissatisfied with your life.
Productive regret allows you to re-examine the factors that led to you not being able to hold on to that home you wanted.
So, ask yourself:
- Was it due to funding?
- Was it a miscommunication between you and a partner?
- Was it simply that you were scared of change?
Answer these questions honestly and prepare yourself for the next time you see a home you want to buy.
#4 – Stop blaming yourself
Blaming yourself is pure torture and it won’t really get you anywhere.
Take a break from beating yourself up and constantly poring over listings; this is counterproductive in your goals towards buying a new home!
We cannot focus on the future if we keep thinking about the what-ifs from the past.
#5 – Let it go
Yes, the Disney Queen said it best:
Practice self-acceptance and move on!
Tell yourself that this was just an obstacle along the way to a great journey of homeownership and that even though you might not have gotten there as fast as you wanted, you are still on your way to finding your perfect dream home.
#6 – Celebrate your current surroundings
Instead of not caring what your current home looks like, buy some flowers and paint the walls different colors – celebrate the fact that your home has given you so many beautiful memories.
Find unique attributes and positive things that will draw people to where you stay right now.
Just because you lost out does not mean that your life is on hold; just the fact that you are not a new homeowner yet.
#7 – New goals, baby
But of course, you are allowed a new set of goals!
Who said you weren’t?
Now that you have searched within yourself and found the answers to why you are not a homeowner yet, set new goals for yourself: re-examine what exactly you want in a home and in a neighborhood and work towards that.
Maybe this time you will something that suits your lifestyle even better!
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